"Having It All”
When you’ve been told over and over again that your so lucky because “you have it all,”somehow you don’t feel so lucky, rather feelings surface when you have to justify how you got so lucky and explaining time and time again, that you worked hard for everything you have and that none of it came easily or was handed to you. It was in fact hard work, determination, hardship and lots of mistakes and lots of sacrifices to get there, yet unless you’ve been in someones shoes, do you really know what they’ve endured? What does it mean to “have it all?” To me it meant having a partner, having children that I cared for , and having a nice home and having a career that gave meaning to my life as it was solely for my satisfaction.
The struggle is how do we juggle all different hats we have to wear for all the roles a women has in the U.S, such as wife , soccer mom, career woman and lets not forget self-care/beauty regimen, ( as we must always look good) . In my story it does look like I have it all, but how i got it is a different story, NO it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t just handed to me. It has been an accumulation of years of hard work along side my husband/partner. As a woman there have been many sacrifices that I have made on my journey to ”having it all.” Some may say the sacrifices were small, while others may say they were not so small, but they were my sacrifices and thats all that matters. So when an observer comments that “you have it all,” instinctually I begin to explain and justify that is wasn’t handed to me, that i had to work for it . The dilemma is; should one explain and justify OR just smile and say thank you????
-Linda Qasabian, LMFT.